Stupid Cupid
by Demigodkid1999
Summary: Despite being completely broke, having little to no experience in love, and has to couple everyone on the island with their so-called destined partner, Elise and Akari have enough on their plates to deal with. Add in an annoying devil boy whom lives to stalk Elise like it's his life, and the saying goes: Love is blind, deaf, and completely stupid. Especially in this story.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Harvest Moon, nor any references used in the making of this story. I do own my OCs, two of which was the very first I've ever made on this account. I own the plot, and yes, there is a plot! I own the random blurbs of crack that may or may not come from my own brain. This goes for the entire story, so I don't need to stress it too much.**

**Holy heck! I FINALLY REMAKE THIS FREAKING STORY! *Falls over and cries in happiness* I've had so many ideas pop into my brain, but my fingers refused to type them. Today is the day I conquered that, and decided this story is back!**

**Give me support to write this because who knows what will happen during the writing process!**

* * *

My mind was spinning out of control as I raised my pinky while drinking the contents of my teacup. The beautiful woman in front of me was nibbling on a chocolate cookie while somehow looking elegant doing so. Her long turquoise hair was made into two giant braids until they connected at the very ends, a long, white toga-like dress flowed freely in a non-existent wind, and she had a pair of wings behind her like some kind of fairy godmother.

"You're not eating much, my dear. What's the problem?"

"Nothing much. Being confronted by someone whose supposed to be a video game character is a bit of a shock, after all," I calmly replied, even though I was mentally freaking out in my brains with a rather colorful vocabulary that definitely weren't divine.

She chuckled warmly at my blunt response, before saying, "My dear. You're probably wondering why you were chosen-"

"Heck yeah, I am," I blurted out before flinching at her harsh glare, "Sorry. Force of habit."

"Actually, you just explained why you were chosen."

"You're not making any sense, Harvest Goddess," I deadpanned.

"The passion you have for anything you have your sights on is unmatchable, especially when someone you care about is happy, and someone else is thwarting it. That passion makes you a force to be reckoned with, and that is why you're going to help my chosen one, Akari. The dark forces are coming. I feel it in my bones, and it's strong enough to make my heart blow out.***** The new age will be an ever-lasting darkness, a hell beyond hell, for those who live in that world. That is, if you decline my offer. What's your answer?"

I nodded my head while thinking to myself, _"No wonder you can't say no in the game when you meet her. This lady can make everything sound incredibly drastic without a hitch, and by then, there's no way to refuse it."_

Waving her hands, a small portal appeared with a glowing rainbow color on its edges.

"The second you step into this, you'll receive a secondary power to help you on your quest to help Akari on the Purple Bell as well as the ability to turn invisible towards the mortal eye.****** Understand that, you have a side-role to fulfill now as the Protector of Reborn Farm, and that you are to follow my orders until you're released from service. Do you solemnly swear to those conditions?"

"Yes, but what's my main role?"

"You'll find it out by yourself. For your first mini mission from me, I order you to memorize the price books in Akari's library."

"Why," I childishly whined.

"Just a...warning," the Harvest Goddess chuckled, possibly at my misery.

_"I've got a bad feeling about this." _This was my last thought before I entered the home of my soon-to-be partner. I wonder what she's like...

* * *

**_"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!"_**

Those were the first words I heard from Akari, the female farmer of the Reborn Farm. She stood in front of me, her arms crossed in agitation. Her flaring brown eyes matched her hair as she continued to glare at me from where I was sitting with several of her books surrounding me on her wooden table. The pajamas she wore were covered in cute baby chick patterns, and I tried to ignore the fact she was wearing duck slippers.

"The name's Elise, and I'm your new partner for the Purple Bell Quest!"

"...You're kidding me right?"

Within five seconds, the intimidating glare she had somewhat vanished, but Akari's body had yet to change its form from 'Smack You With a Brick' angry to 'I'm Still Pissed, but more Reasonable' angry. I couldn't blame her for being suspicious though because I must've looked a bit strange with what I wore.

A black and white hoodie that had Reshiram and Zekrom on its opposite side, making it look like Yin and Yang with their eyes glowing on the fabric, a pair of dark grey knee-length shorts and a pair of self-made Harvest Moon socks with a mixture of turquoise, purple, and light blue. My long black hair was tied up in a high ponytail while my brown eyes were framed by black rimmed glasses that were slightly crooked.

"Nope, I swear to the Harvest Goddess that I'm telling the truth," I stated, flinching at her piercing glare through my soul.

Once upon a very late weekend when I was watching one of The Fine Bros videos, the electricity went out in my neighborhood, and I was left silently cursing in the inky darkness with my laptop glowing a dim light in the confines of my room. Then, left with no other choice than to sleep, I fell asleep in my absolutely fluffy pillows, met the Harvest Goddess in my dream, and you know the rest.

"Can I have a pair of boots? I don't have any shoes."

Handing me the boots and putting them on, I walked outside into the refreshing spring morning to see the most barren farmland I had ever seen. There were no delicious strawberries ready to be plucked, no morning dew-covered tulips that rivaled the glitter of a ruby, and the cherry trees that were usually there in the game were gone without a trace. Akari followed me behind in her normal farming clothes, an eyebrow raised at my shocked expression.

"What are you staring at?"

"Where's the crops? There's not even any cherry trees or anything! Why does it all look so...empty?"

"Oh, that. I...kinda ran out of money to pay the bills, and had to burn them whenever it got too cold at night. Luckily, I have some leftover Turnip seeds from my first year here when I bought too much, but that's about it."

The first thing that came out of my mouth was, "You have pay bills here?"

Yep, I completely ignored the fact that we would most likely starve before getting enough income to support ourselves to get food and whatnot. Honestly, it seems a bit like reality in someway when you have to resort to old style methods to keep yourself warm when you have nothing else. That's the main charm of Harvest Moon games, I suppose.

"Yeah, this place ain't cheap. It costed 5000G, but thankfully the mayor was kind about letting me pay him back whenever I wanted."

"Do you use a fishing rod, or something like that? Do mining? Scavenge? Take part-time jobs in town to pay for everything?"

"Er, not too often because I was way too busy with the Bells' business to do anything else last year. Plus, Finn, wanted me to go to the Goddess Spring all the time, so with that kind of schedule, I didn't do too much," Akari sheepishly replied.

_You've gotta be..._

Mentally face palming, I marched inside, grabbed the poor neglected fishing pole in her tool box, and went over to the small pond near her house. She followed me and watched in slight confusion as I threw the line out only a few feet away from me. Ripples of water appeared before I got a bite. My arms strained to keep the fish under my control while rapidly switching to pretty much smacking the fish with the pole until it finally gave up, revealing it's identity to be a Carp.

"59G, and honestly, can you help me with this thing instead of looking at me like I came from the sky," I stressed, trying not to drop it from the weight strain on my arms. I need to ask Owen for a pair of barbells because if that was supposed to be one of the easier fish, I would most likely get pulled into the water and drown an anti-climatic death.

"How did you know..."

"Simple. Rule number one about fishing is to be strong, both in the brains and brawn. That, and to think of what kind of food it becomes after you cook it. Speaking of which, I'm starving!"

"We can use my Knife Set that I got from one of my friends for my birthday," she said, pulling the poor fish towards the cutting board.

"Wait a minute! We can make it into Sashimi and make 80G off of it!"

"Why do you know how much this stuff anyways?"

"There's a bunch of price books about it on your shelf that you've never bothered to read."

After a minute or so, the dish looked decent enough to eat, and I vainly suppressed the thought reaching my stomach before hearing it growl in hunger. Akari chuckled softly at the sound, making me pull a half-hearted glare on her. _She's not so bad, I guess._ _I was technically in her home, so I guess this was a way to pay her back. Maybe it won't be so bad to live here after all._

"Akari, are you in there?!"

My head snapped towards the door at the rather loud voice before raising an eyebrow at the blushing female. Wait, **blushing**? An evil grin crawled onto my lips, and I walked behind her to the door until it revealed the mystery guest. The grin on my face intensified as I saw the blush darken on Akari's face, and the hyperactive axe man was nervously fidgeting around with something behind his figure.

"Hey Luke..."

"I found some Honey from a tree, and I was thinking that you might like it because you like sweet things! Do you want it?"

"Sure! Thanks!"

A shy smile appeared as he handed her the item, a soft touch of a blush reaching his cheeks in slight embarrassment.

_"Or was it,"_ my mind thought, the smile never ceasing its devilish intentions. However, the somewhat pinkish heart near him grabbed my attention, and judging from Akari's expression, she was completely focused on Luke. Either that, or she was used to it.

There was a lone bee that flew around him furiously with Luke waving his arms around like a loon before leaving the property. Akari turned around to see me doing a hand heart towards them, and before she could say anything else, I gave her a thumbs-up.

"Shy girl and the idiotic, but sweet boy combination, nice~"

Her cheeks were dusted lightly with pink before speaking up, "W-What are you talking about? There's nothing-"

"That's what they all say, my dear. That's what they all say. Let's get down to what the heck we've gonna do for our situation because right now, we have a long way to go before anyone recognizes this place as farm.

"Seeds come cheaply, so that's a plus on our side. We definitely can't buy any animals because we're broke. Mining is dangerous, not to mention expensive sometimes, but it's worth it...75% of the time when you get lucky. Fishing is my job, and we can get a decent meal if I work hard enough. Scavenging is definitely going to help us. If we can buy a Pot, we're good for tea and jams. That's about it..."

Akari was stunned by my intellectual lecture, and I couldn't blame her for being like that. My passion for the Harvest Moon series was strong, as if I was going off to war instead of starting a farm with my strategies and such. We needed to put more effort into our work, otherwise there's going to be trouble if we ever slack off, but in order to do that, I needed how much progress Akari put into being friendly with the other inhabitants.

"So, for the Purple Bell, how many people did you already befriend?"

"Anissa and Candace. They're very nice people to be around," she smiled gently. Instead of responding back, the fact I saw her heart was light blue, which I think means shyness or something like that, made me very wary.

"...Are you shy around other people?"

"What the heck are you talking about?"

"Did you ever ask that Finn guy for help during your quest? He acted like a hint guide, and I think I'm the same way. You see, I believe the Harvest Goddess gave me the power to look inside their hearts, which helps them open up to you more easily since you know how they feel.

"Give me an example."

"Luke's heart was pinkish around you, and you never noticed 'cause you were in la la land." Akari blushed at this fact, making it hard for me to not laugh.

Coughing slightly, I continued, "Plus, this is just a theory, but I think the wishes aren't the actual power the Purple Bell."

"Then, what does," she asked, taking a seat on one of the chairs across from me. My idea had lit a spark in the back of my brain. Suddenly, my inner fangirl was unleashed, and without knowing it, a background of fiery passionate flames surrounded me as my voice announced the idea that was floating in my head for a while.

"It's the strong bond between a friend that powers it! That bond kept at a mutual level will power the Bell by a mere fraction! If you make them fall in love with the person whom they've always cared about, it can make a huge difference in our quest. That is why our real mission is to pair everyone up with their destined true love!"

**_"HUH?!"_**

"I'm not joking when I say this! When the person whom you love has the same feelings as yourself, you can't help, but feel like you're flying through the air like frigging Peter Pan, or if you've read the Hetaween Comic of 2011, France! Haven't you noticed the lack of color from the emotions around here because of the closed off bridges between people?"

"Maybe it's because **I can't see freaking color emotions?**"

"That's what I'm here for, Akari! Now, I know my role in this entire thing!"

"Do you mind telling met then? I've got no clue."

I laughed lightly before I dramatically bowed towards her with red rose petals swirling behind me like in Ouran High School Host Club.

**_"I'm the legendary Cupid!"_**

* * *

***- Refers to the song Radioactive by Imagine Dragons with a little twist to make it seem normal in the story.**

****- One of the things that I've kept in from one of my remakes was this ability because in all honesty, they would ask questions about where she came from, so invisibility is a plus to the job. She won't steal seeds, food, or anything like that because the Harvest Goddess punishes those whom mess around with that kind of stuff.**

**The rest of the references are pretty obvious, so I won't bother trying to explain it too much.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Harvest Moon, nor any references used in the making of this chapter. I own my OCs, plot, and random blurbs of crack along this story.**

* * *

"Are you naturally this weird when it comes to romance," Akari asked, an anime sweatdrop appearing on the side of her head.

_Curse it, the power of Fangirling strikes again!_

Coughing awkwardly before hiding my embrassment with a poker face, I stood confidently in front of her with the background of flames still lit behind me.

"Anyways...in order to succeed, we've gotta be on top of the world, or pretend that we are. Confidence can change anyone, any place, anywhere, and sometimes, can make a giant impact in history if it's strong enough. Romance is almost the same exact thing, but has more downfalls than uprisings."

"Really? What about that quote, 'Love conquers all,'" she inquired, the tone of sarcasm dripping from her words.

"It can heal and destroy at the scale of time. It can fill a gap in your heart, but if the guy you're in love with dumps you, the time you spent with them can smack you down hard, and sometimes can cause unfortunate endings."

She nodded slowly at my answer before wrapping the Sashimi into her Rucksack.

"Anyways, we need to get working. When the bar opens, we'll order some food, and try to make some small talk, well, at least you will," I put extra emphasis at the end, making her look at me in slight disbelief.

"Why just me?"

"How would people react when some girl came out of nowhere and decided to live on the island for no exact reason?***** Plus, I've always wanted to see what it's like to be invisible and get away without people chasing me for it," I started to daydream about my childhood when I was younger, running all over the place and causing mischief while getting away with it all the time because I was still a little baby at the time.

Ah, such good memories.

"...Good point. This place can be a little judgmental sometimes, but you can get over it pretty quickly once you settle in and make friends."

Huh, who knew our worlds were so alike when it came to people.

I do remember Selena and Luna in this one scene in Animal Parade where they pretty much went into a cat fight with one another until Kathy broke it up. The reason was, I believe, from the way Selena dressed and how Luna could find something better than that; everything went downhill from there, but still. It's strange how Harvest Moon tries to connect our world to this one with distinct differences that make it into a realistic setting.

Besides that, we still had a job to do, and it wasn't going to finish itself. If it did, then it would be a miracle, which, of course, was impossible because this was Harvest Moon, and nothing seemed to progress without the player.

I wonder what would happen if the player never came to that specific town.

...

Enough of that depressing stuff, we need to get money, or we'll starve!

"Well, for easy money, we can scavenge for mushrooms, herbs, and berries. Also, there's some Sea Urchin and Sakura Shells on the beach, so that's a good thing. If we tally it up," I paused, writing down the numbers and adding it up, "That would be a rough estimation of... 910G."

Akari looked at me with a blank expression before freaking out. Late reactor, I guess.

"How?! It's just-"

* * *

**WARNING! THE NEXT PARAGRAPH CONTAINS USAGE OF MATHEMATICS AND SLIGHTLY MIND NUMBING PRICE TOTALS. FOR SAFETY REASONS, PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! IF YOU WANT TO RECHECK THE MATH, GO AHEAD BECAUSE THE AUTHORESS IS HORRIBLE IN THE SUBJECT!**

* * *

"Well, if you want me to explain, I found out that you get an average of two Green Herbs a day; add it with three Purple Herbs with a total of 150G. If you get the usual two Common Mushrooms from the back of the house, the two near the cliffs going towards the Garmon Mines, the 1 or 2 near the waterfall, and the four at the mines, the total is brought up to 550G. Sea Urchin gets 80G, the same as the Sashimi, Sakura Shells get 70G, get two of each and all together you have a grand total of 910G."

"And you figured that out in just five minutes," Akari stared at me in disbelief, probably thinking I wasn't human, or that I really liked math. It was most likely the first option because who has ever heard of a human having supernatural powers like invisibility and reading people's emotions?

Unless you're a ninja with the ability to read the atmosphere, then that problem's solved.

"I told you it was a rough estimation, not the absolute number of money we'd get everyday. If we did, that would be incredible, but still, to get this much money in a single day is amazing, and that's not even adding the fish I'm gonna catch! If it has a low value, we'll have to make Sashimi, and if we're persistent, we can definitely survive the week."

"Then, what are we waiting for?!"

Pulling me outside with her arms of steel, I was shoved into the dirt before Akari sped off to the Garmon Mines, probably to harvest the Mushrooms. Dusting myself off to the best of my ability and cleaning my glasses, I walked towards the beach area nearby the farmland with my fishing pole in hand. The scent of the sea calmed my nerves a bit as I picked up two Sakura Shells and a Sea Urchin before placing them in my hoodie's pockets, wondering how the hell I wasn't cringing in pain when I picked it up.

_"The power of video game logic," _I guessed.

Casting out my fishing rod, I stared out into the distance, finding nothing, but the relaxing ocean miles around. Although it was beautiful, I would get bored one day. Wasn't Selena begging to go to the Mainland before because she was surrounded by this her whole life to the point where she stowed away on a ship to see the sights and such?Absentmindedly yanking the pole back for small fish like Goby and Sardine, I tried to think about all the characters on a more realistic scale.

Luna could definitely be bossy when she needs to be for business, Selena can be childish to the point of running away with absolutely no idea of how and where she could make money, Anissa seems like the big sister type, which is no duh, Candace is the quiet, but nice girl that's absolutely adorable to be with and protect because of how shy they are. Then, there's Akari, the somewhat labeled Mary Sue character of the game that everyone hates and loves.

She has her faults, mainly considering her unwavering support towards the people she cares about and nearly getting broke for Finn's constant visits to the Goddess Spring that could've helped support herself better. The fact she ran this place by herself, now the two of us, was incredible, but not too unbelievable because we had no crops besides the sad five plots of Turnips growing in the somewhat fertile soil. Plus, the girl reacted pretty normally when I showed up out of nowhere, especially since I did look a bit sketchy with my hoodie.

In fact, if some random person was in my house, I would smack them on the head with a frying pan, or in Akari's situation, her giant hammer.

Glancing around for the sun's position, I blinked in surprise when I noticed that was around the afternoon. In the game, it would take ten minutes to fish, and it looks like one o'clock, so I must've gotten a lot of small fish if the day went by this quickly. Fifteen Goby and nine Sardines, not as much as I thought, but it's better than nothing at all.

_Wait a minute, what time did Akari wake up in the first place?_

If I got six fish per hour, and I have a total of twenty four, I've been fishing for four hours, meaning she must've woken up around nine to ten in the morning. Geez, so much math...

Positioning the load of fish in my pockets, I trekked up the hill and put everything inside the shipping bin before surveying the field. The Turnips were planted in a straight line, probably because it looked more organized if it was, but besides a few weeds here and there, the plot looked rather pathetic. Let's see...flowers are incredibly cheap in this world ranging around 20G to 30G, but some Turnips and Potatoes would be a good thing too, if Akari got Marimba Farm up to Level Two.

It's incredibly small for a Year Two farm, but it's a start.

"Now, what shall I do," I wondered aloud, putting my hands inside my hoodie's pockets.

_Maybe look around Harmonica Town for clothes and maybe some Perfume, I definitely won't wear the same thing over and over again, especially since I'm gonna smell like fish most of the time. If it's possible, I could get a Rucksack._

Deciding on that mission, I ran to Harmonica Town for the one thing I never liked in real life. Strangely enough, I like to shop for clothes in video games, but I hate going to actual stores because it was such a hassle most of the time. It wasn't hard to miss the light pink shop, especially since it showed off several different outfits with blouses, jeans, jackets, and so many more. Opening the door, Shelly looked surprised at first to see a new customer, but quickly welcomed me before asking what I was looking for.

"Just looking for some outfits for work, and a Rucksack, if you don't mind," I explained, eying some of the items on the rack.

"Do you have a specific kind of work that you're pursuing?"

"Fishing, scavenging, and farming basically."

"So, you might need a Work Outfit, the perfect outfit for anything," she smiled kindly before I thanked her and looked over their clothes. It felt weird for me to do this girly stuff since I wasn't that kind of person. I preferred books over boys, carbs over being skinny, and video games over social interaction. Some of it might've bit me back in the past, but I turned out okay for the most part.

"I don't know how to look for clothes," I casually stated, making a new voice shriek in shock.

_**"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHOP FOR CLOTHES?! ARE YOU SOME KIND OF ALIEN DRESSED IN A GIRL'S BODY?!"**_

"Luna, don't insult the customer," Shelly scolded the fuming girl.

"I never really paid attention for this kind of stuff. Give me a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers instead of a dress, high heels, and skirt any day of the week. Plus, what's so important about these things anyways," I replied honestly, not really remembering about the fact I was talking to one of the most strictly fashionable people on the island. Luna pumped her fist into the air, making me raise an eyebrow in response to the strange gesture.

_"**THAT'S IT!** YOU'RE GOING TO GET **AT LEAST FOUR OUTFITS** BY THE TIME I'M DONE WITH YOU, AND IT'S A GIFT, SO DON'T YOU DARE BRING IT BACK FOR SOMETHING ELSE LIKE A T-SHIRT!"_

I just dug my own grave, didn't I?

* * *

After being in that shop for the last four hours, I was about to drop dead. In the bags I carried were the Work Outfit, Black Victorian, Sporty Short-Sleeve, Casual Yellow for the Fall and Winter seasons, and finally, a Red China Dress, which I thought you could only get during the New Year's Eve Festival.

"The festival was only two days ago, so we still had it in stock," Shelly explained to me before Luna dragged me off for more clothes and shoes.

_That means that today is Spring 2._

Thankfully, I got the Rucksack I wanted in the first place, and found out it had several handy features. It was waterproof, had large pockets for the farming tools, which I found out were able to fold down into more easily carried sizes, and that it came for the price of free. I guess farmers get special benefits, but that would explain why everyone suddenly gives the player fishing poles, watering cans, hammers, and hoes.

My arms ached from Luna pulling me all over the store, but Shelly eventually helped me when I straight up declined to put on make-up while Luna had this devilish glitter in her eye when she pulled out a brush and some rope. I shivered at the memory before looking up at the clock in the town square.

"It's already 18:00? Whoa, time is really fast here," I mumbled, trying to figure out how I was going to carry all this stuff back home.

"Hey! I got all the stuff!"

Turning my head towards the upper road, Akari was waving her arms at me with a grin on her face before she noticed the bags.

"What's with-"

"Luna. Clothes. Hate. **Five _HOURS!_**"

"Ah, so you've seen Luna. But, I thought you didn't want to be seen by anyone."

"Shopping for my own clothes and doing what every I need to do in order to survive is my territory, so I need to be seen," I replied, giving her some of the bags to carry. She rolled her eyes at me, but complied with my request, carrying them easily in her arms before we walked all the way back home into the cozy little house on the hill.

"Hm, wonder what'll happen tomorrow," Akari said out loud, putting the bags on the table.

"We're going to get Tulips, and did you get your farm up to Level Two because if we have any money to spare, we can buy other crops."

Nodding her head in hesitance, she replied, "Yeah. I did, but it was really thanks to Colin that my farm's crops sold fast on the market."

A simple thought crossed my mind that made me stop in my tracks, "Wait a minute, you said you had to pay bills here, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, if you were living by yourself, then...you should have enough money to not be in this kind of situation, so what happened?"

"I...don't know really."

"You don't know?"

She looked at the ceiling with a dazed expression, "It was so cold in my house, so cold that even if I had the heater on high, I'd shake from the dropping temperatures. It became so bad, I nearly went bankrupt when I paid the heating bills. I couldn't grow crops because of constant snowstorms, I sold my animals to give them better homes, and I took several jobs around the island to support myself. Eventually, I ran out of money, and cut down the trees."

_The dark forces are coming. _

_I wonder what would happen if the player never came to that specific town._

_Could it be..._

"Now, I get it."

"Huh?"

"The Harvest Goddess said something about darkness and evil running around the place. I don't know for certain, but if what I'm thinking is correct, those evil forces were purposely targeting you, and made you the way you are today during the Winter. The nights come faster around that time, making it easier to drag you down and temporarily stop you."

Her eyes widen in shock, "Wha-"

"Think about it. Everything is centered around your progression in this town, and to stop you is the main task given to any enemies of the Harvest Goddess."

"What does that mean?"

"It means...we're being watched by our enemies at this very moment, and I have a feeling that there's going to be a lot of hell to go through," I answered grimly, moving my gaze towards the window leading into the deep ebony-colored night.

* * *

***An obvious joke towards the Harvest Moon games.**

**After two weeks of typing this thing, I am done! *Falls onto bed* I already have projects, quizzes, and tests on the second week of school, so updates are going to be really slow. Hope to see you guys next time!**


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